Free Time!

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Rachel has Friday off from her nanny job, and she offered to take the kids to Burmil Pool today. I took her up on that sweet offer! I am with my kids almost 24 hours a day. I homeschool them and M and S are not old enough to leave home by themselves so they pretty much go everywhere with me. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I’m an introvert, someone who needs down time with no questions, problems, and life-altering situations to deal with for at least a little while each day. Sleep time doesn’t count because I’m having trouble sleeping so that’s a problem! (Side note: Rachel just called and the pool is full to capacity so they’re coming home and regrouping, possibly going to a public pool. Waaaah!) I feel like I am constantly being pulled in all directions and not being competent in any of them. I put ideals on myself that are truly Satan’s doing because they pull me down and keep me from being the woman of God I want to be. I spend more time feeling inadequate and less time asking God what He wants from me. I am not immune to the pull of the world and it takes real strength to recognize God’s voice and His will for my life. I don’t know how to get it all done, and I’m not supposed to! I need to deal with today’s issues and stop worrying about the rest of my world falling apart. My desire is for my children to see a transparent mother who struggles with priorities, selfishness and inadequacies, yet still tries every day to glorify God in her life and home. God, use me to be your hands and feet and work miracles through this humble woman.

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