Going Through the Motions

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Recently S was sick with just a cold, thankfully not the H1N1 flu. I’ve already had that and bronchitis and it was brutal, not unbearable, but not fun. But when one of the kids is sick it just reminds me of how much all of us need our moms. If you had one that was attentive to your needs as a child, count your blessings. If you didn’t, commit yourself to being the kind of parent that actively seeks to meet the physical and emotional needs of your child. S tried to be a trooper, but it meant so much to her when I did her chores for her and allowed her to just be sick. I did the basic mom “stuff”, getting her medicine, taking her temp., giving her lots of hugs and seeing that she had a nest made where she was comfortable. Yet as she began to feel better her attitude changed somewhat and she started to return to “old” disagreeable S. As we cuddled tonight I asked her why she changed. She said she was just more comfortable the old way. Aren’t we all? I thought about how hard it’s been for me to learn to parent differently with my RADishes, to give them what they need, not necessarily what they want. To keep trying and persevering when I’d like to quit. Putting one foot in front of the other and modeling the life I want my children to strive for. Convincing them they are truly worth all the hard work, for them and for us.

M has really struggled with “going through the motions.” Our family went to a Matthew West concert at our church a few months ago and Matthew talked about what led him to write these lyrics:

This might hurt, it’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care if I break
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
“What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?”

No regrets, not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let your love make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something
‘Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

‘Cause I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
“What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?”
[ Matthew West Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]

M doesn’t seem to grasp the idea of heaven and how something we can’t see can be better than anything we can imagine. My sister died when he was just 18 months old, the kids having just moved in with us. My dad died this past February and M and S experienced the difficulties and realities of life with my elderly parents the last two years. M just keeps coming back to this song because as you RAD moms know our kids do go through the motions. Sometimes that’s all they can do. And sometimes they reach deep within themselves to let love in and take a chance on themselves and us. As we cuddled tonight I just reiterated my beliefs in a loving God and faith that requires us to stop “going through the motions.” I think this song needs to be the theme song for all of us parents (especially moms) seeking to make a difference in the life of a traumatized child. Because most days it feels like we’ve given everything, with nothing left to give. Praise God that “His mercies are new every morning.” I want to be sold out for my Lord and my family. I will not just go “through the motions!”

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Comments

  1. Beautiful post, Marty.

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