Positive Thinking – Not!

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I had a kind of “aha” moment this morning. You see, I struggle with maintaining a positive attitude. My mom is very negative and I don’t like seeing it in myself. So I really have tried hard to look at the good in a situation instead of the difficulties. My “aha” moment was realizing this morning why it’s so hard for me, and has been hard for me since the adoption. RAD is an exhausting, overwhelming state of life that consumes and eats everything around it. I wake up in the morning ready to teach my kids about life and science and math and cooking and all that “stuff” we homeschoolers do. Then the manipulation and the bickering and the “I’m smarter than you” attitude starts before they’re even done with breakfast. There goes my positive attitude! Only those in the trenches will understand this. You expend all your energy just trying to survive and love in spite of all the barriers they throw up. Being all jolly and happy just doesn’t seem to be a priority sometimes. And yes, I’m not fun a lot of the time. I feel like I have to write it on my list of things to do! I guess I’m making excuses because it’s so frustrating, but I know I’m doing my best here, one day at a time and keeping it real.

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Comments

  1. Lisa says:

    I so get it. E X H A U S T I N G….

    Yet we still keep muddling on.

    Sending you a hug Marty!

    {{{{{{Marty}}}}}}

  2. Corey says:

    YES!

    I remember back in the day, Dr. Phil used to say, “how much fun do you think you are to be around?” and I used to have all this angst about it. Now I’m like.. DANG! How on earth can I be fun when the RADish(es) want to suck the life’s blood out of me?

    (Hey Marty.. come to my party…)
    xoxo
    Corey

  3. Totally true. I have thought sometimes, what could Genea do with all that energy if she used it towards something different. Her concentration, her focus and her drive are amazing. For the good and for the not so good, when that child sets her mind to something you can be sure it IS a done deal.

  4. Josten says:

    At times i find it hard to maintain a positive attitude as well. But whenever i get off track i stop and take a deep breath. Then i think of how further i am going to get if i continue to think negative.
    keep on thinking positive.

  5. marythemom says:

    This is hard for me as well. Recently spent some time with a friend for whom a positive attitude was not a priority and discovered how really important it is for me. Maybe we can work on this together.

    Hugs and prayers!

    Mary in TX

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