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I don’t know about the rest of you, but I struggle with my ideals and beliefs and the reality of my life. I know what the Bible says, to cover everything with love, love your neighbor as yourself, etc. But when a kid is raging and impossible to reach those ideals seem to go out the window. I have trouble lining up my beliefs with the reality of life in the trenches with RAD kids. I do believe God can do miracles and heal these wounded hearts. But He also gave us free will and each of us makes choices each day to move forward, sit still or lag behind. My kids are healing. We do have “normal” days when life is just frustrating not debilitating. I know there has been discussion on whether a person can be healed of RAD. My kids want to know when they will be “normal” while still using RAD as an excuse for every bad choice. My belief is that they can have a “normal” life with the ability to make choices more logically and based on their belief system. But I think RAD will always have an effect on how they think, react and believe. It’s like telling a person with only one leg that they can be healed. They will never have two “normal” legs but they can learn to live their life with what they’ve been given and even thrive. But don’t tell me that they won’t live every moment with the fact that they only have one leg. My hope for our RAD kids is that they will choose to accept the life they’ve been given, realize what happened to them is not their fault, and use their experiences and challenges to believe they were made in God’s image. M and S are 11 and 12 and I see progress. But as we start loosening the boundaries and they begin living in the world as “normal” kids (ie. friends, feelings, hormones, disappointments, expectations) every day becomes an opportunity to put what we’ve been instilling in them into action. I don’t know what heartbreaks and triumphs lie ahead. I just know we’re still here, fighting the battle for their hearts, taking small steps forward and often a few back, praying constantly for wisdom.

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  1. wisdom is exactly what I pray for, each and everytime there is a step backwards. It is a journey and it is a journey that is affected by their RAD but I trust that with wisdom ( and a little patience) they will make their way into the world.

  2. MomInTheTrench says:

    Yes, and the Bible tells us what love is. . .patient, kind, not envious, not boastful, not proud, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, doesn’t keep a record of wrongs, doesn’t delight in evil, rejoices with the truth, always protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres, never fails.

    It is a daily struggle for me and I have to keep these directives on the top of my mind. You are doing a fantastic job. You are a great mom, seeking to glorify God in your work. It sounds like things are changing with privileges and hormones, and that always creates stress for us and our kids. You are covering them with love. You are showing them what it truly means to choose love. I respect what you are doing and who you are tremendously!

    They may not ever be “normal” and we all bear scars from growing up in a world full of sin. God can work all things for good for the believers.

  3. i think I’ve given up hope that Sissy will be “healed”. I now strive for the hope that Sissy will be safe and regulated.

    Sissy doesn’t ever express a cognitive understanding of her her illnesses. So I think that makes it doubly hard to help her see that she can overcome it. She’s thinking overcome WHAT?

    I’ve scaled back the RAD parenting some unless I observe a very real moment to connect and build trust. I consider it more of a “rad component” than a RAD kid. I know that RADs can mimic so many other mental health issues and that might be true in Sissy’s case but not entirely. She really, genuinely has other severe mental health issues, maybe even some early signs of schizophrenia. She’s been with me since 11 months old and gotten worse, not better despite the years of therapy.

    how does God fit into all that? I cling to him like moss on a wet rock. Without Christ, I’d be dead.

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