I am amazed to say that my mom is doing much better. She is off the antibiotics, cough medicine and breathing treatments and actually got dressed one day this week! First time in 3 weeks. She is weak and probably will not regain from where she is now, but she can feed herself and go to the bathroom and for that I am thrilled! Spending four hours a day at the nursing home assisting her, with the help of their staff and hospice, wore me out. Trying to maintain a semblance of normalcy, with meals cooked, clothes washed, and school completed was difficult. This isn’t normal. The life I live is not the world’s “normal”. It is learning to die to myself and live for others. Tough lessons to relearn and reconnect each day. Sometimes I fail miserably. Sometimes I am a good example to my children. I am always mindful of the fact that my children are watching, not only my actions but my attitudes. I also recognize the messages I learned from my childhood when I’m helping my mother and doing my best. Being a caregiver for the elderly is certainly not my gift. Little things can bring up those messages that were implanted in my heart that I often don’t realize I still believe. I’m so grateful to be maturing in Christ and understanding that I am who I am because of His great love. I don’t have to live with the messages of what others think of me. All the many conversations I have with my kids are like imprints on my heart of what God truly sees in me. By trying to convince my RADishes of God’s plan for their life and great sacrifice for them, I am daily reminded of how much I am really like them. I can’t preach it without taking it to heart, and for that I’m grateful for the opportunity to test this belief over and over and over.