Attachment

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Just learned something new about M. His behavior has been challenging this morning and I knew it was because of the intimacy of the attachment challenge. I finally asked him what he was afraid of. He said our breathing exercise (where we are facing away from each other but with him leaning on me) reminded him of his birth mom and how unsettled he felt in her tummy. My words, not his. He just knows he was afraid. Lots of sadness going on, too. I told him he needed to replace the thoughts of birth mom with thoughts of me and the safety he has with me. How hard is it to replace wrong beliefs? Incredibly hard. For all of us. Then add in drug exposure, prematurity and all the other problems our kids deal with and I know it’s only by the grace of God they will change. Not feeling it here today. Will struggle on. One piddly step at a time.

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Comments

  1. GB's Mom says:

    Your are doing awesome at a really, REALLY hard task. I wasn’t feeling it yesterday, so I understand. I guess we continue and endure until we feel it again.

  2. J. says:

    wow that is profound, you are doing great things, hang inthere and trust yourself.

  3. Jennie says:

    i can personally attest to how hard it is to undo incorrect patterning and I don’t have a mental health issue!

  4. dorothy says:

    I wonder how much my nonverbal kids ‘remember’ about their lives before us? Particularly the one who was a bizzare abandonment at birth (real life ‘born in the bathroom senario.)

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