Starting the Day

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Yessss!!!!We have two for two today! M was back in his room for the day 10 minutes after he got up and two hours later S is in hers. Good day. Fun had by all. And lest you think I’m an ogre we are trying to make M’s world so small he has to move a fraction of an inch forward. Because, seriously, it’s been months since he moved anywhere but backwards. He’s still on the token system and he earns three tokens out of the shoot for making his bed, hygiene (getting dressed, brushing teeth, etc.) and doing his chore. His chore this week? Feet cats, feed dogs, refill water bowl. Guess who didn’t get fed? The cats, because their food is in the laundry room. How did I know? The cats kept staring at me like “when are these nuts going to feed me?” So he lost his chance to spend a token on something other than oatmeal and his therapist says to send him back to his room the first time he sabotages. Done and done. Lest you think I’m an ogre (again) he got to play basketball outside and play by himself for a couple of hours outside yesterday, no tokens required. He got the opportunity to pay a token and work on his puzzle. Nope, didn’t want to. His negative oppressive energy was so bad yesterday I could feel it when he got out of bed. Don’t you moms just know when the day is going south? Today, not any better. But I can outlast him. I really can. Maybe he doesn’t know about my stubborn streak. lol I’ll show him! Alhtough he did say today, in devotions, that one of his strengths was arguing. REALLY? That’s a STRENGTH? Yes, he’s good at it but that doesn’t make it a good thing.

So S has been doing well for a while even though we did have therapy because she had a panic attack while I was out of town and then spent three days in bed, doing little, because she was in such a bad place, throwing up at times, completely closed off. At therapy last week we realized it was her great attachment to me. She was afraid I wouldn’t want to come home because there’s a lot of stress at home and she’s part of it. So that scared her and she backed off receiving the love which put her on the hamster wheel. She has been better since then, except for today. I wake her up, open her shade, turn off her night light, talk silly to the hamster and then she hugs me. Silly me, I didn’t talk to the hamster and just waited for S to come to me and get her hug. She didn’t. So I asked her about it. Later on it felt like she was listening to a private conversation and I called her on that. In group time she got all huffy because she struggles with listening and recall and names and most everything so I am constantly talking about tools to use to help her. It’s not criticism, or is not meant that way, but that’s how she takes it. She wouldn’t stop arguing and I finally sat her down and said, “what in the world is going on?” She said I hadn’t said anything nice to her all day. We weren’t even an hour into her day and I hadn’t said anything intentionally nice to anyone! It was just morning business. After going back and forth to her room when I wouldn’t listen to the arguing, it finally got through to her that what happened was she felt grumpy and unloved. Instead of asking for a hug and some affirmation, she got mad and blamed it all on me and it got worse from there. At least an hour of processing and getting through to her. And I wonder why I get “nothing” done?!! The “nothing” that I get done every day is of eternal significance. I have to remember that. It’s also ridiculously hard work at times.

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Comments

  1. The nothing I do all day is of eternal consequence.

    LOVE IT!

    I learn from you.

    I hope S finds her way of the hamster wheel very soon.

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