When Rachel still went to the same church as us one of the Sunday activities she enjoyed was taking pictures all dressed up. She always loved getting her picture taken and taking pictures of others. We don’t do it as much now because we go to a much more casual church and have fallen out of the habit. But S looked so cute yesterday and had on wedges with a little heel so I took a few pictures. Since M has been in such a bad place I didn’t even want to take his but I asked what he wanted to do. He wanted to get his picture taken, or wanted to prove something to me.
It is just so obvious to me now looking through the lens of the camera that S has the spark and M has the emptiness. Separating them from spending any time together quite a while ago made the difference in S attaching. Unfortunately, it also revealed the true darkness of M’s heart.
I do not post these pictures to embarrass my son or glorify my daughter. Through 11 years of parenting my RAD kids I have seen the vivid emptiness in their eyes. There is hope of shifting out of that darkness but it is a personal choice for all our kids. I just know M’s decisions are totally his and his alone. He is choosing to reject all that is good and healthy and filling to his soul.