Heart to Heart

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I love it when a situation presents itself, looks like one thing and turns out to be another. Confused? I believe my new bloggy “friend” intended to hurt and wound me by declaring (as one of her commenters said) 

Omg this woman is atrocious. And she calls herself a god-loving bible thumper? Someone ought to take her bible and thump her in the head with it. I know I am not privy to god’s innermost thoughts but somehow I think Jesus would NOT approve of her outright disdain and hatred for this child she has chosen to care for. She should admit to her utter failure as a mother, as a christian, as a compassionate human being and let this poor child go to a more suitable home. A home where he can at least be shown a modicum of respect. I hope this woman will think back on this someday, maybe even her judgment day, and see the shameful, wicked behavior she has displayed. Jesus loves the little children…even this one. Shame on her.

I realize that I am totally unacceptable to these women and that’s fine with me. I will not be judged on the final judgment day by them but by God. There is not an ounce of hatred in me for my son or any of my children. I do hate the lies that he believes about himself and acts out upon because of the failure of his “natural parents” as she calls them.

People that know me IRL would be outraged at the things that were said about me. However, I did put myself out there and talk about my son and the life we face together. Freedom of speech is a right and a privilege and she has as much right as I do. However, it is only her opinion based on a couple of blog posts that allegedly support her argument. If she truly wants to know my story she should go to the beginning, not take things out of context to prove her point. She is correct in that I will never be able to relate to her because I am not adopted. That doesn’t mean I can’t understand pain, heartache, disillusionment, abuse. I don’t have to have cancer to know what it feels to have physical pain. I don’t have to be divorced to know what it’s like to be alone and misunderstood. I don’t have to be abused to have compassion for my child.

She also completely ignores the fact that I also have a RAD daughter who is healing and is amazing. We treated her the exact same way we treated her brother and through consistent love, Godly therapy, time and a willingness on her part, she is doing great.

I have examined what I believe about my son and have come to verbalize that he loves me as much as he is capable of. He is also very loyal and honestly doesn’t blame me for the stuck place he is in. He is self aware enough to realize that he is making his own choices and only he is responsible for letting go of control enough to move forward in his life. If he could speak with this “friend” face to face I believe he would defend me because he does love me. He would tell her that his family has put up with him and his destructive, harmful behaviors because we love him. We don’t throw away kids. 

The words she thinks I put in my son’s mouth were completely his own. He just doesn’t always talk in complete sentences or express himself well. I helped make it readable. What I didn’t know was the great progress my son would make through the process of thinking about what was said about his mom and voicing what was on his heart. He has had (dare I say it?) some great days! His hugs are genuine. He is reaching out for the love and taking it in. I have been able to encourage him with words and he hasn’t sabotaged it. As I’ve thought through this the following scripture comes to mind:

Genesis 50:20  “Don’t you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now—life for many people. Easy now, you have nothing to fear; I’ll take care of you and your children.” He reassured them, speaking with them heart-to-heart.” (The Message)

Heart-to-heart. That is the blessing God has given me through persecution. Heart to heart with my son. God is good.

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  1. Sweet!! I love it. I think we allow God to lead us we can find a silver lining in every big black thunder cloud.

    PTL for your son and for you!

  2. It is amazing the kind of trash that God turned to gold! I was more than annoyed with that blog and its’ followers. I am thrilled it turned out well.

  3. I love that verse and you and your family show such love. I am thankful that you can see through satan’s plans and how he uses others. Praying for your sweet family.

  4. i am spiritual but not a devout christian, i am a mother but not adoptive nor of special needs children, i dont know your entire story but have read your blog from the archives until today

    and you are a faithful amazing christian, and a determined, beautiful mother

    IM not privy to God’s thoughts either, but i KNOW hes proud of you

  5. So glad that this woman’s destructive post didn’t cause you to just shut down your blog and walk away.

    I am soooo…… sorry for the post she wrote, and the commenters that added fuel to the fire. It was HORRIBLE.

    Thankful that the LORD has shown you that you are NOT what this blog says about you. Oh. My. No.

    You have so MANY other mama’s of RAD kids that LOVE to read your blog … support you … be supported by you … pray for you … be prayed for by you …

    Keep writing. Keep sharing. Keep LOVING your son (and each of your precious children).

    Hope your holiday weekend is BLESSED!

    Laurel 🙂

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