I’ve been absent on the blog this past week. Nothing earth shattering. Just life.
I did have lunch last Monday with my friend Stacey and Karen, a new friend in the area. We talked for 2 hours and I had no idea it was time to leave! It is amazing to talk to women that you don’t have to explain anything to. You don’t have to tell why or preface things to give more of an explanation. They just “get” it. Ahh. Refreshing.
We had therapy yesterday. Always a highlight of the week. M was shut down completely. He’s afraid he’s going to have to deal with his se*ual stuff and the shame is devouring him. After dinner Tim and I both were able to get his attention and reach for his heart, sharing our life experiences and hopes and dreams for him. Most of the time this is a waste but there are moments of connection which still give me hope that he is reachable, somewhere inside that shell of a little boy. He told me he’s only 12. Like that explained it all. He believes he shouldn’t have to deal with any of this. What he needs to do is tap into the anger and express that his abuse was not fair. He’s right. He shouldn’t have to deal with any of this “stuff.” But the next piece is what happened after his abuse and how he continued it. We talked about the shame and the transformation that comes in connecting with God, asking for forgiveness, and LETTING IT GO. Our kids struggle so with the thought that there really is a God that could forgive them of the terrible things that have been done to them and by them. We told M we would know it when he truly sought God and let the shame go. Right now it’s the prison that enslaves him. His sister has taken that step. Her struggles come from all she’s been through and how those struggles effect what she believes and how she lives out that belief.
Having 2 children with RAD means they are usually on the seesaw. One does well, the other shuts down. Then they switch. Tag. You’re it! It truly is predictable and disheartening at the same time. If you have more than one child with RAD, does this happen in your home? How do you deal with it? Do your kids feed off each other, mainly negatively?