In Honor of my Sister

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If you’ve read my blog for a time you will probably say now, will she ever stop talking about grief? For those of us who have lost loved ones intimately close to us, (for me my sister and both parents), it is a pain that sneaks up on you when least expected.

I went away this past weekend with two close friends for a time of scrapbooking and relaxing. As I got ready to come home on Sunday I really didn’t feel well. I chalked that day and Monday up to hormones and changing cycles (I know, TMI), but you ladies understand. It wasn’t until I read my niece’s post about sadness that it hit me like a freight train. October 2nd (today) is the anniversary of my sister’s death 12 years ago. My body knew it when I didn’t. My heart felt it when my mind didn’t remember.

In honor of an unselfish woman who loved deeply and left this life way too soon at the age of 53,  here is my tribute to my sister, Brenda Kay Purvis Cathcart, my sister and my friend.


Linking with: Leaving a Legacy,

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  1. Sandra @Beneath this Roof, Within these Walls says:

    A beautiful tribute to your beloved sister. Sending you comforting thoughts and gentle hugs,

  2. I feel for you! My father passed away 2 1/2 years ago. We had a very strained relationship, and in some ways, I think that made it worse, because when he died, I lost all chance having the father daughter relationship I needed.

    • I think having unresolved relationships does make it harder, but I would encourage you that through the years peace can come if you allow God to heal your heart. We all have wounds from our families because we are all just human, dysfunctional people. I believe there are some relationships that are never what we want and loss makes it even more agonizing. I just try to remember that I can’t change anyone else, only myself. Blessings to you today, Sue.

  3. Menopausalmother says:

    I feel your pain–on Oct. 31 it will be 3 years since my sister passed away at the age of 56. I still get the urge to pick up the phone to tell her a bit of interesting news….and then I remember that she is gone. A few months ago as I was preparing to go out to dinner, I decided to switch purses. I grabbed a small black handbag from the shelf, not realizing it had previously belonged to my sister and was given to me by her son. When I opened the purse and saw her personal things inside, it brought me to my knees. Losing a sibling is just one of those things we never quite get over—it haunts me to this day because she died too young. I hope you get through today without too much pain–surround yourself in your family’s love.

    • I am so very sorry for the loss of your sister. Obviously I understand, unfortunately. I still hear my sister’s voice in my head and the way she answered the phone with “hi, there.” I thought I would forget through the years, but I haven’t. Her daughter has become like another child of mine so I’ve been able to enjoy being a “grandma” (great aunt) to her three children. There are blessings from God even in loss. Thinking about you today.

  4. That’s really nice Marty. This tribute is something you can hold onto for forever because you have it written down.
    It is nice to share with others, you never know who you will touch with your memories.

  5. Marty, I’m so sorry to know you’re hurting. I lost my dad two years ago and the pain still swallows me whole. He was a man of God, a pastor, a wonderful dad, husband and mentor and my life is missing his guidance and wisdom. As I watch my kids grow, I hurt because they will not know how wonderful he was. As I read your post, I realized that we must remember to hold our families close so that we never regret the unspoken things. Praying for you here in cyberspace.

    • Dorcas, what a blessed legacy you have to carry on! I know it’s hard to know your kids will miss that part of him, but you are still there to show them pictures and tell them stories. There will be other people in your life, I’m sure, that will tell them about his legacy. It does change you and help you appreciate those things that are most precious. Thank you for sharing your story with me. I don’t take that for granted. Blessings to you.

  6. I’m sorry for the passing of your sister. She was beautiful! I lost my father to cancer 16 years ago. It seems like I can sense something different when that time of year comes around as well. I pray that you will find comfort in the Lord during this time. Thank you so much for linking up this week.


    • I am so sorry for your loss, too. Isn’t it amazing how our bodies sense what our minds don’t always remember? I learned that from my adopted kids who often couldn’t figure out why certain months were tougher. Loss is loss, whatever form it comes in. Bless you!

  7. Today, morning here in Australia, I thought of my frail, old,beloved uncle who was mercilessly shot last year in the Philippines. His birthday was last Oct. 13, he should have been 75. Then I stumbled upon your blog and then I read your Grief page. It’s God’s way of comforting me through your post. Knowing that I share the same agony, pain and grief because of the death of a love one consoles the heart and comforts the soul. We can never stop talking about grief, because we do not stop loving and we do not stop loving while we are living. You do have a beautiful blog

    • I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you took the time to comment and encourage me. I do write quite a bit about grief because I live with the losses every day, as do you. As a matter of fact, I sang at a funeral today of a 52-year-old woman and all I could think about was my sister who died at age 53. You never get over the loss but you learn that it can give you strength as you remember and honor your loved one. You are right. You do continue loving because what else is there? Life is a precious gift. Thank you for sharing your story with me.

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