How to Survive a Blogging Spouse
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Not quite in time for our Valentine’s Day Anniversary, but my husband gave me this hysterically funny, right on target prescription for how to survive a spouse who blogs. If you know someone who blogs (especially DIY, crafty, hands on kinds of bloggers), share it with them. You can thank me later.
How to Survive a Blogging Spouse
It all seemed so innocent, so propitious, so – temporary. Little did we know that it was already too late to stop the ravenous addiction that had entered our home. Blogging. In my case, it is my wife that we lost to this insatiable monster. It may be your husband, a sister, a family member. Whoever it is, this post is for those left behind, like the bewildered masses roaming the streets after the Rapture. Here are just ten simple tips to survive the blogger in our midst:
1) Buy the very best computer you can’t possibly afford and then don’t even tell her how to turn it on. I’m serious! If you help on that very first night, you have become her Internet Technology Specialist. And you will rue that day. Our weapon of choice is a 27” iMac. With reading glasses on, this thing looks like a roadside billboard. It has yet to blink, even with 30 trillion pictures on it already.
2) Near that computer, you must place the following items: a box of tissues, a stress ball, and a small pillow for her to scream into at 2 a.m. This is not self fulfilling prophecy; these are essentials. You may also want to remove all sharp objects from the vicinity.
3) Learn the language…ASAP. She will greet you at the door with words and initials you’ve never heard of. Here’s some quickies; “Google juice” is not something you retrieve from the refrigerator. “S.E.O.” does not stand for Securities Exchange Officer. But I have yet to fully grasp what an RSS feed to my Google reader is. And don’t even get me started on writing and editing code for her site. You don’t have to be fluent; you just need to be able to ask where the bathroom is and hail a cab. Keep it simple.
4) For the love of all things pure and holy, READ HER BLOG! Even if you really only look at the pictures, you must be able to execute your half of the conversation. I warn you now, if you don’t give this impression, you will find yourself with a request to subscribe to her updates via emails. Just do it. Warn your loved ones to do it. Scream it from the rooftop. Send up smoke signals. Read, read, read.
5) Invest in mobile access for her. This can be an iPhone, iPad, or MacBook. Look, this blog is her CHILD! You would never, ever ask her to leave it home, lonely and unattended, would you? Of course not, you dolt! She must be able to check those stats and tweak that picture wherever and whenever it is possible. We recently executed this step and she positively beams with every opportunity to go mobile.
6) Get her some business cards. Not kidding here. She is desperate for legitimacy and credibility, especially in those lean, frustrating early years. It’s all about exposure at every level, and she will glow when she can put that little piece of her CHILD (remember?) in the hand of someone she has just totally confused. If the blog has some whacky name (and they’re out there, aren’t they?), this is another essential.
7) Learn to pause for the picture. I will confess before you all, this one makes me insane. Whether it’s a Pinterest project that must be documented in it’s entirety, or a meal that goes cold because the blogging cook is in front of the whiteboard with camera and plate, just be patient. Unfortunately, this will not get better with time. Learn it, live it, love it. Or, mysteriously drop the camera. Your choice.
8) Take it seriously. A bit more reality-based with this one, but look at what has already been invested here: the computers, the mobile devices, the cards, the Google hang-outs, the conferences, the Twitter parties, the You Tube instructional videos, and on and on and on. But none of that comes close to the hours upon hours she has poured into this new season of her life. This is not just her new job; it is her passion, her love, her dreams. It is what motivates her in the morning and the last thing she thinks about at night. Support it and her, even when it is totally beyond anything you can comprehend.
9) Stand the kids next to the computer now and then when she’s hit that third hour. She’ll remember who they are – she’s written a post with their pictures in it not too long ago. Have them get her a bowl of ice cream if she has just lost everything for the second time, or she has combed the entire code box for a missing comma that screwed up everything.
10) Be her sidekick, DIY guy, muse, proof reader, guinea pig, whatever she needs. But, under NO circumstances, be the IT guy…I warned you. She needs you, and she needs your understanding. Blogging is a terrifying and dangerously vulnerable undertaking. Whether it works or completely tanks, she needs to know you’ve got her back. Attacks will come and stupid people will inevitably find a post and rip her to shreds. Just watch her back and enjoy the ride. Survive!
I love this season of blogging in my wife’s life. She is amazing and never ceases to amaze us all with her ability to blossom amidst all of life’s fertilizer. I worry at times when the glow of the computer still lights her weary face at 2 or 3 in the morning, but she has always been a trooper and failure is simply not an option. She controls the monster, and even manages to make it swoon in her more than capable hands. Blog on, love of my life! Blog on…
~Tim~
Not only is my husband a talented writer (and musician and dad and on and on) but he also answers my readers questions on home repairs in his Ask Tim column. We are a pretty good team when it comes to our home projects, including our mason jar chandelier, scrapbook room makeover and chalk painted hutch.
Pictures by jlydesigns
Your Killing Me! That was so much fun. You’re a lucky lady Marty–he “gets it”. Thanks
Hi, Karen. Thanks for commenting on my hubby’s post. Yes, he does get it, amazingly. I started out blogging 6 years ago just for family and this last year has turned into a whole new career! Well, when I actually make money I can call it a career 🙂 Tim is a good guy and I’m grateful.
Marty
My husband will die of laughter. I can’t wait to send him the link! Thank you Marty and Tim!! xoxo
Oh, this made my day! I need to set up a phone call between my husband and your husband! Thank you for the smiles you brought to my day, Marty and Tim. laurie
Your husband nailed it, Marty! (sort of DIY pun intended!) My husband is my IT Department, already too late for him, but he is an awesome support! Thanks for such a fun post!
Haha, Laura! My husband “nailed” his post! THat’s funny but true on so many levels! He is definitely the brawn (and very often the brains) behind our projects. I think I’ll keep him around!
Marty
Well put Tim…well put! Marty, sounds like you have a real winner of a hubby there. 😉
Hi, Brittany. Thanks for taking the time to comment on my husband’s post. He is a winner and I just have to keep him fed and happy so he’ll carry out all my DIY projects! I’m nowhere near as handy as you. Tim would never let me near a power tool. Barely lets me near the knives and scissors!
Marty
Marty, this post is so perfect!! Tim, you had me rolling with laughter. I love this! I told my better half I’m sending this link to him, and he answered, “I certainly need to know that!” lol
Thank you!
Debbie 🙂
Debbie, I would love to see all the bloggers’ husbands email boxes today. Not sure if they will love or hate my hubby’s post, but it was on target! Thanks so much for stopping by the blog!
Marty
So sweet and dead on. Except my guy doesn’t like computers and since retiring does not have one. I can’t go to him for tech support.
Hey, Jeanette. Retirement without a computer. Hmmm. Not sure if that sounds wonderful or terrible! Thanks for leaving a comment on my husband’s post.
Marty
You are a lucky lady to have such an adoring husband! Having never been married, this makes me want to be! I need one just like yours! Since at my age, that is about an impossible feat, I will carry on as I am, but with the thought that perhaps, one day….
Ecellent post, needless to say.
Rock ON, Tim and Marty!
Bev, I love your perspective on my hubby’s post. We are certainly blessed but neither of us would say it’s been easy. Ever. But those things that are hard come with the greatest rewards. Thanks so much for visiting Marty’s Musings.
Marty
I have got to get my husband to read this post. His understanding is not up to par with Tim’s! Last night my husband huffed and puffed until I turned my computer off because he was moaning that I loved blogging more than him. Why doesn’t he get that if he doesn’t “behave” himself he will end up on my blog. 🙂
Ashley, you are so funny! I would “never” threaten my family to straighten up or else I’d blog about them. Never 🙂 Oh, the power of blogging! The one thing my dear husband didn’t say was that I usually have to wait for him to get “ready” to do our projects. When he’s ready, I better be ready to jump!
Marty
Love this! Thanks so much for the spouse’s perspective, Tim! My husband is sitting here nodding his head in agreement…LOL
Jill, my husband is a great guy and I’m sure yours is, too! Glad he could relate to being a “blogging spouse.”
Marty
Great post, Tim! You pretty much hit the nail on the head! Marty is blessed to have you by her side – er, computer, I mean!
Hey, Suzy! One of these days we’re going to have to get the Greensboro bloggers together! I volunteer my house whenever you guys have time. Or we can just go yardsaling and have biscuits at Bojangles 🙂
Thanks for commenting on Tim’s post. He is a keeper!
Marty
That is funny! Great post! lol
Thanks, Katie, for encouraging my husband on his post. Oh yeah, that would mean he’d have to read it! hahahaha! He’ll get the post in an email. Yes, I did subscribe to my blog for him. Any little thing I can do to help.
Marty
Okay. I love your hubby. What a great guy!!!! There is nothing like having a spouse who supports what fuels you. You are so lucky to have each other. It always make me smile to see a husband so devoted to his wife. I’ve got a great guy too. We sure are lucky 🙂
Hey, Shannon. So glad your read hubby’s funny post. It definitely struck a chord with all of us bloggers. He is as funny in real life and I am blessed! Just got to keep on his good side so we can keep those projects coming!
Marty
Oh my goodness, laughed to tears, Marty! How great to hear “the other side”..(still giggling)
Jeanette
Hi, Jeanette! I’m so glad you got a laugh out of my husband’s post. Yes, the other side is quite hysterical. I’m still laughing myself.Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment!
Marty
I think Tim needs his own blog!
Picture it: two gigantic computers side by side. 6trillion photos. Two stress balls and lots of consternation over coding.
Tim captured the reality of blogging. And you can let him know, he’s not the only one whose dinner is getting cold waiting for a Pinterest worthy photo shoot.
No, Amy, Tim will not be getting his own blog! He can just contribute to mine because I have the power!!!! Seriously, he has absolutely no interest in learning anything about blogging. He is just very supportive, which is good, since it is all encompassing! Tell Bruce Tim feels his pain!
Tim completes you Marty! Here’s to our poor spouses – little did they know what they were getting into!
Kelly
I love that you said my hubby completes me, Kelly. That’s so sweet. I guess after 26 years we’ve learned to laugh at more things and fight about less. This last year has been such a blessed one and I’m holding it tight because I know the storms will come again. Thanks for taking the time to comment!
Marty
LOVE this!
Thanks, Sharon! Did you share Tim’s post with your hubby and did he nod his head until it about fell off?
Marty
Hi Marty, I stopped over from fb/bt to see your post and I can’t stop laughing. I’m just starting out and I’ve already seen this start to happen, a LOT, so it comforts me to know that family members can live with it. Your husband IS a very talented writter!!! I’m still laughing right now. Great post, thank you!!
Hi, Amycha. So glad you got a good laugh from my hubby’s post on living with a blogger. I laughed. A lot. And he’s funny in person, too. Such a catch.
Marty
Marty your husband is hysterical! This post should have come with a disclaimer before it, because I spit wine all over my keyboard from laughing so hard! I’m totally sharing this on Facebook (and tagging my husband) on it! “For the love of all things pure and holy, READ HER BLOG!”- I lost it, seriously hilarious!! XO
Hi, Christine! I’m so sorry you spilt wine all over your keyboard. Send my hubby the bill. JK. And can you tell, he wrote it from nagging, I mean, experience 🙂
Marty
Ha ha ha!!!! That was hilarious! Especially because WE HAVE THAT MAC with the 3 million pictures. 🙂
Business cards! I’m telling my Mike. 🙂
Hey, Christie, isn’t the mac amazing? Our screen is ridiculously huge but it was the same price as a smaller one. And since I’m getting older……ha! And yes, you need business cards. Keep them everywhere. Drop them in elevators. You know. Subtle stuff.
Marty
Great post!! I may make my hubby read it. He doesn’t read my blog, but he gets that it’s very important to me.
Anita, I hope you’ll share my husband’s post with your husband. Mine would read the blog every so often until I signed him up for email notifications! Ha! Seriously, I did that. Or I’ll give him the 20 questions about what I wrote.
Marty
I cannot put into words how much I love this…and how much it describes us. 🙂 My blog is still an infant…so yes…we are in our learning and growing years. This is wonderful though…and the support of a good spouse shines through. Blessings to you and yours! ~k.
Hi, Kelli. Thanks for stopping by Marty’s Musings and commenting on my hubby’s post. Blogging is definitely like raising a child. Here’s to hoping it goes a lot faster!
Marty
Love this post Tim! You are right on!!
Thanks, Christine, for leaving a comment on Tim’s post. He is also this funny in person. Just stay on his good side 🙂
Marty
I loved this post! I found you through Donna at Funky Junk.
I’d send this to my husband but he doesn’t even know how to turn the computer on.
Seriously.
No worries on HIS part about being mistaken for an I.T. guy. ;D
Hi, Rosa. You cracked me up saying your husband doesn’t even know how to turn the computer on! What’s really funny about all this is I’m the slow learner of all things computer and now I’m the social media, blogging guru of the family. So there!
Marty
This post is amazing, funny, and just made my day! I am sharing this with my husband RIGHT now….oh, wait, when I stop laughing and can actually move. As a new blogger, this so hits the nail on the head in every possible way! Thank you so much for sharing this truly exceptional post!
Cindy, I hope my husband’s post encourages your husband (and makes him laugh, too!) He doesn’t know what he’s in for! Good luck in your adventures as a blogger. There’s definitely a learning curve but it’s an amazing world.
Marty
This post was a hoot! Your husband was describing you, but he just as easily could have been talking about me! Or quite possible, all of us!
Hey, Jane. My husband hit his post out of the park! Now I have the evidence to remind him when he gets irritated with me!
Marty
Rolling on the floor laughing…
I’m so glad Tim made you laugh! He is quite the character! Feel free to share with all your bloggy friends!
Marty
Sweetest most coolest post EVER! And yup, it made me laugh!
Yeah, Donna! My hubby made you laugh! He makes me laugh, too (though I want to strangle him at times 🙂 He did a great job giving insight into this crazy blogging obsession!
Marty
as usual Tim humor shines. I love this post so much for the funnies and how supportive he is! LOVE YA Bunches
I really thoroughly enjoyed this and am emailing it to my husband…I think it will give him a chuckle! Thanks for sharing!
Hey, Jessica! I’m glad you liked my hubby’s post. Many husbands will be reading it, I imagine!
Marty