Cottage Living + Life After Divorce
This post may contain affiliate links which won't change your price but will share some commission. Read more here.Whether sharing cottage living, DIY home projects, writing about life as an adoptive mom or living through a divorce at 60 and a shocking diagnosis of HIV/AIDS, Marty Walden will encourage you with hope in the hard places of life.
A few years ago my blog changed from a family journal about life as an adoptive homeschooling mom with a love for inexpensive home projects to a business that would help support my family, and eventually me as a divorced single woman at 60.
My love for sharing all things home related allowed me to provide for myself but expert advice said there was a “right” way to please Google, gain more page views, and thus make more money. I was told Google wasn’t interested in the story, just instructions and pictures for each tutorial.
So I’ve worked hard to make my blog more generic and straight to the point. Just the facts, ma’am! And through this process I lost my voice.
I lost my love for Marty’s Musings, my home away from home on the internet. I’m so weary of trying to turn my blog into a money maker instead of focusing on the mission God gave me years ago.
Encourage women in hard places with hope.
It’s my life purpose boiled down to one sentence. It doesn’t describe who I am or what I’ve been through, only my heart’s desire to make a difference in this heartbreaking world we live in.
Today I’m fighting back with a vengeance. Today I’m committing to writing every word from this day forward with this mission in mind. Which for those of you who have followed me for years it means here come the STORIES!
I’m grateful you’ve let me know what you love most about my website is my heart for uplifting others, whether it be through an easy craft project or a recipe for the busy mom. No longer will I reduce my posts to what the Google gods say is the “right” way to be successful.
Success for me is the blog reader who comments, the social media follower who tells me I’ve made a difference, and the joy in my heart at being obedient to God’s call on my life.
It also means I’m going to share more of my personal story, from my shocking divorce to the betrayal of an HIV/AIDS diagnosis after 35 years of marriage. (I started a YouTube channel in June of 2023 to educate others about the virus and the devastation it’s caused in my life.) I won’t tell you details but I’ll share how I’ve survived the deepest wounds of my life and come out stronger and freer on the other side.
This doesn’t mean all the fun inexpensive projects you’ve come to love will disappear! I’ll focus more on ways to save money in your home while still being creative. Plus I’ll get personal and share inspiring stories at the same time. Win win, my friends!
I won’t shy away from writing about the deep well of grief or the brokenness in my family. Every word will be written with prayer and thoughtfulness, knowing my story might just help you accept and step into your own.
And if you’re new to Marty’s Musings? Here are just a few of the losses I’ve suffered:
- Loss of my sister at age 53 in 2000 from a massive heart attack
- Parenting trauma in my adopted children with two out of three spending time in group homes
- My mom’s death by hypothermia in 2010 due to nursing home neglect
- The death of my brother-in-law at age 52 from a heart attack as well
- Diagnosis of HIV/AIDS after being sick for several years
- Resulting divorce due to the unfaithfulness of my now ex-husband
- A prodigal adult child who has cut ties with the family
I read the list and it overwhelms me. Yet these events don’t define. My losses have made me the courageous woman I strive to be today.
Yet here’s what I shared on Facebook almost two years ago:
June 8, 2022
Sometimes it hits in the middle of the night. The grief. The fear. The condemnation.
How can a girl who loves Jesus be going through a divorce? Why couldn’t my strength of will and faith in God’s goodness protect me and save “us”?
I don’t have the answers. I only know it’s not fair, it hurts and Satan would love to take my brokenness and keep me oppressed.
Some days it takes every ounce of physical energy, mental focus and strength of will to get through the day. Other days the relief at being set free is such a gift.
A friend texted me yesterday and said she was “reading in Judges about how the people were able to mourn Joshua while still pressing forward into new victories” and she thought of me. “Thank you for being such an example of how grief and growth can coexist.”
Of course I cried. Even with a broken heart and oh so many questions for God, this last year has truly been a gift. I have felt God’s people and my friends and family step up and love me well. To live out the command to be God’s hands and feet. I have been awed by the meeting of my needs, from a simple text and reminder I’m loved to contributing to financial needs and help with my new cottage.
I feel so undeserving but it’s just another example of God’s compassion for me, His child. He gives us each free will and when someone else’s free will causes me pain He doesn’t turn his back on me. He sends love. He shows up and shows off when and where I least expect it.
It’s been exactly one year today since divorce became the only option for my marriage. I should have known my body would remember the trauma and late night weeping would be the result.
So from my heart to yours at 3 AM, thank you for being a part of the next chapter of the story God is writing in this, my 60th year of life. More than you’ll ever know I’m grateful to be alive. Every day is a treasure and I will continue to count my blessings in the midst of the everyday hard moments.
I’ve journaled thousands of words over these last few years and as I share my heart going forward I pray they will in some way help heal your heart, too.
For those who’ve followed me for years and have missed my true voice and calling, I’m back and I can only hope you’ve missed me as much as I’ve missed sharing my unique voice in this busy world.
And if no one has told you lately? You are loved by your Father, not for what you’ve done or where you’ve failed but because you are His.
How can you help? Share this post anywhere you can! Social media, emails, texts. This pivot for me is scary but I feel so much joy just sharing this with you. YOU are a gift to me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Marty,
Thank you for your encouragement it has ministered to me, not just your words but when I see you on your stories and YouTube videos. You’re a voice that’s needed in this world.
Sincerely,
Jeanine
Thanks so much for being a big supporter, Jeanine. I can’t tell you how much it means to know you’re reading and being encouraged. To God be the glory!
Thank you Marty for the change back. Your words have ministered to me so many times with your honesty and love of the Lord. May God bless you.
Sincerely,
Julie H
Thanks so much, Julie! I appreciate the confirmation of what I’ve been feeling for a while. Looking forward to sharing more life and inspirational thoughts!
I just read your newest notes and it’s uplifting to always read “Marty’s Musings.”
We’re all human and we all have happenings – good and bad – in our lives. You have shown us strength to persevere. Keep up the good work. Remember that you have touched a lot of lives in such as positive (need I say strong) way.
I appreciate this so much, Laura. Yes, we all have the “stuff” of our lives but I’m so glad I’ve been able to encourage you in some small way.
That a girl!! Whoop!
Thanks, sis. I love you!
To God be the glory ❤️
Yes, indeed, Becky!